Just DO :)
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23:54

Девушка смущенно отвела взгляд и согласно кивнула. Исин, бросивший беглый взгляд через плечо, лишь раздраженно фыркнул. Он прекрасно слышал разговор и был немного зол и по-детски обижен, что не является его участником. Сейчас Чжан Исин находился в нервном напряжении, поэтому адекватно реагировать на происходящее вокруг он не мог. Боевой дух бушевал в его груди, а злость тихо булькала в животе. Исин подпитывал её, накручивая себя нелицеприятными комментариями внутреннего голоса. Это превращало его в сгусток чистой агрессии, которая грозилась разорвать любого на его пути. В таком состоянии молодой человек был уверен, что никто и ничто не сможет остановить его.

Исин уже говорил об этом раньше. За долгие годы смирения и открытости, в нем копилась затаенная злоба, выход которой он не мог дать. Не позволял себе. От этого она никуда не пропадала, а лишь по капле вливалась в его душу. Даже самый добрый и понимающий человек не застрахован от дурных эмоций, просто он не дает им волю. Так они и копятся в нем до поры до времени, пока не срывают плотину на своем пути, выплескиваясь наружу огромным потоком.

Оле-Лукойе не знал об этой стороне человеческой сущности, а если и знал, то искренне хотел верить, что Исин не такой. Вот только Чжан Исин был именно такой. Он был обычным человеком, не лишенным отрицательных качеств. Он не мог от них избавиться, поэтому предпочитал подавлять, и хотел верить, что это изменит его сущность, однако это делало его только хуже. Человек, который выплескивает свой гнев постоянно, по капле, не давая ему накапливаться и достигать критической отметки, значительно лучше того, кто терпеливо молчит, пытаясь не замечать, как злоба оседает на дне его души.



То же, что и ниже.


17:07

Он никогда не был настолько самостоятельным, как ему казалось, чтобы самому принимать решения. Конечно, он их принимал, но если была возможность, пытался сделать так, чтобы его проблемы решал кто-то другой или хотя бы стоял рядом, когда Исин решает их. В душе молодого человека жила постоянная тревога, потому что ему всегда чудилось, что он поступает неправильно или вот-вот сделает ошибку.

что и в предыдущем












Да, история моей жизни(((

19:34

— Знаешь, Оле, — тихо проговорил Исин, — я понимаю, что был не прав, что ты еще ни разу не дал мне повода усомниться в своих словах, но…

— У тебя были тяжелые дни, не так ли? — понимающе произнес Чондэ. — Я знаю. У всех бывают тяжелые дни. У меня их было чуточку больше, чем у тебя. Поэтому я хочу, чтобы ты знал, Чжан Исин: не важно, насколько плохо или тяжело тебе было, это не должно мешать тебе радоваться жизни. Именно трудности дают нам понять, как важны минуты счастья. Впереди у тебя еще много тяжелых дней, еще больше чем было до этого. Но не думай о них, потому что они проходят. Сейчас и здесь, нет повода унывать из-за случившегося, потому что все это уже в прошлом. Цени минуты настоящего, потому что именно они самые ценные и самые незаметные. Именно они преисполнены счастьем, а мы их упускаем. Чтобы быть счастливым, научись видеть их среди вороха суеты и забот. И улыбайся, Чжан Исин… улыбайся.


"Les Arcanes. Ole Lukoie"
EXO фф.

00:09

of all the advice that has served to confuse him rather than help, and the entire time the words he’s been needing to hear have just been in front of him. Chanyeol is allowed to make mistakes, and isn’t that better than having never tried at all? If he ends up hating composing, then fine, he can just quit and go back to working at Junmyeon’s store, and his love for music will heal itself. If Jongdae ends up rejecting Chanyeol and saying that he doesn’t feel the same way, then fine, they can just go back to being friends, and their relationship will heal itself eventually too.

It may hurt, in the long run, but Chanyeol wants to learn how to be a fighter, and even if he loses in the ring, over and over and over, he at least wants to say that he tried, rather than never having even stepped in it to begin with.



"On the road between us"

EXO ff.

11:01

“Nah, not worthy,” replied Chanyeol, taking the knife away from his neck and smiling at him like a mischievous kid sharing a secret. The anger was quickly disappearing from his features and Baekhyun felt a shiver, goosebumps spreading from the place the blade had been in his neck. He felt both exhausted and mortified, still so sensitive that the mere graze of his shirt against his skin was making him tremble. Foamborn were the children of the storm, and he didn’t want to crave it, but yearn he did, ache until the point of physical pain. The burn, the kiss, Chanyeol’s fingers on his pale, humanlike skin. He understood now, why the elders of his kin always said that being what Baekhyun was was destructive. His body should not want what his heart despised, and yet it did, and the realization was scary. “Hey, come on, you look like you’ve just seen a ghost. Don’t make me feel bad, I was playing along because you started but I wasn’t going to take it any further. Calm down.”

"Children of the storm"
(EXO ff)

11:28

“Are you okay?”

No, that is.

“I’ll tell you when I know the answer to that. It might take a while. My whole life, maybe. That’s just how I am.”




"Manager." (Shinee fic)
bunnoculars.

22:43

"...he touches Taemin the same way he rubs his own shoulders or adjusts his own hair in the mirror. A touch that’s so comfortable and familiar, his hands move while his mind is elsewhere."

From "this love isn`t crazy" by unconscious.

В точку! Именно так это и выглядит. То, как Кай трогает Тэмина.

18:07

“In life, there’s no direct path that will genuinely lead to true success or complete failure. Every single step taken is a meaningful experience. Walking on a crooked path isn’t necessarily a bad thing. And at the same time, walking on the correct path the entire time isn’t necessarily a good thing either.”

"Addicted".

12:41

"In all his life, he had never felt such a thing toward anyone before: utter disappointment. He wished he could beat him to death but that wouldn’t purge the anger in his heart."

"Addicted" (Chinese novel).


Да, именно так это ощущается. Как будто, бил бы и бил, кричал и кричал, и одновременно нет ни слов, ни действий. Осознание абсолютной бессмысленности буквально парализует, и нет ни слов, ни дел для этого человека.



"Why didn’t you believe me? You personally promised, but you couldn’t keep it.

Were my expectations of you too high?

Were you so good to me… so good that I couldn’t see any of your flaws? … so good that I believed every single word you said without any doubts.

So, when I uncovered your true innermost thoughts, it became unbearable just like now?
"



В точку.

16:20

Jack of all trades and master of none.

03:18

"Шелковая рубашка, слишком глубоко расстегнутая, цепочка на худых ключицах, тонкие губы в хищной усмешке, острые высокие скулы, узкие глаза. Красив странной, отталкивающей красотой."

Описание Вегаса из фф "Амант".

10:28

Рики - одно из чтений иероглифа "сила". Он же, чикара.

13:01

A Tanagura Blondy and a slum mongrel. It was as if Iason was a box of secrets, and Riki was the only key that could open it.
Katze spoke matter-of-factly.

"You may have a hard time accepting it, but some love can only be expressed that way. Perhaps that was the case with them."
A form of love...?


"AnK."

09:50

This is Scarface... Katze.
Guy automatically straightened himself and sat up.
Their first and last encounter lasted mere moments, so this was the first time Guy got the opportunity to look at the man properly—his cold, android-like beauty, and the scar on his cheek which made that beauty stand out even more.




"AnK."

02:23

If something was blossoming in Apatia that could have managed to break through the insurmountable wall between a pet and his master, then what Guy did was all the more unforgivable.



"AnK."

01:59

"When I was in Eos I thought I would never curry favor with anyone. It was like that for those three years as well as when I came back. My pride as a slum mongrel was my anchor."
Even being coerced and tormented, Riki’s pride was never shattered. It wasn’t hard to imagine that he would pique the curiosity and the sadism of someone with absolute power. Only a mongrel would have the privilege to be so naïve as to show such defiance in the face of Blondy authority.
"But since coming to Apatia... holding on to this defiance felt strangely suffocating. My cage was just moved from Eos to Apatia, but when I'm alone with Iason, face to face, it leaves me breathless. I ask myself why but... All these thoughts unrelated to work keep going round and round in my head. But once I became aware of that, I knew I was screwed."
It dawned on Katze at last. The one who changed wasn't just Iason. It was Riki as well.
"Have you... fallen in love with him?" Katze asked matter-of-factly. He half expected Riki to yell at him, but instead, all Riki did was lower his eyes.
"I don't know. I don't know if all I feel is hate, or not. Or if there's something else to it... or not. Am I just imagining it? I’m not even sure what I really want it to be..." He muttered to himself, his voice hoarse.
This seemed to be yet another side of Riki that Katze had never seen before.
"Maybe I’m just afraid to realize... that these feelings are no longer so black and white. Funny, right? Feel free to laugh if you want to.
It wasn't funny. Not at all.
These were Riki’s genuine feelings that Iason... or Guy for that matter... wasn't aware of. It might have been the first honest confession that Riki has ever made in his life. Or it might just be the sort of vulnerability that only a situation like this could bring out."
"Iason hates the sort of pet that just fawns over him, right?"
Katze knew this all too well.
When he was Iason's furniture, he witnessed it every single day in Eos. No matter how much a pet tried to please Iason it had no effect. Even if it was the finest Academy purebred won at auction, his attitude towards it was nothing short of cold. To Iason, a pet was just room decoration, nothing more. As long as it didn't block his view, he was content. He was steadfast in that policy.
This was why Iason's strange obsession with Riki was inconceivable to Katze.
"In that case, I have no choice but to stick to my guns as best I can and stay defiant. I gave it a lot of thought. Without the pet ring, whether I like it or not, I’ll have to make up my mind, right? Even if I... can’t stand
on an equal footing with Iason, wouldn't it still be possible for us to look ahead together?"




"AnK."

00:53

He also hated how powerless he was. He knew how implacable and insurmountable Iason’s will was. No matter how much he tried, there was nothing he could do to diminish the power imbalance between them.



"AnK."

23:29

"Impossible. Whether you threatened or begged him with tears in your eyes, Riki would never have gone with you. Not unless he was unconscious, or something to that effect." Iason said flatly.

...

Rather than a conditioned reflex, Iason had imprinted Riki with an unconscious instinct. Through the pain of the pet ring and unspeakable pleasures under his own hand. But even so, Iason knew that despite the effort put into taming him, Riki’s true nature was unbreakable. That was what endeared him to Iason. Not that he would ever put it into words.
It took Iason three years to bring Riki to heel, but Riki was beholden to the slums.
To what he wanted to protect.
To those he couldn’t bear to lose.
To the one he couldn’t let go of.
Guy didn't know just how much he meant to Riki. Were he aware, he would never have resorted to something as reckless and extreme as this. Obviously, Iason wasn’t going to enlighten him.



"AnK."

21:19

Keeping a slum mongrel as a pet, moving him to Apatia, and then putting him to work on the black market. Even if Jupiter voiced no concerns over any of this, Iason did think on occasion that he was perhaps taking things a bit too far. Still, Iason himself chose this remarkably human relationship between himself and Riki. To not worry about the eyes of others but to spend time with him, in a human sense...


"AnK."

18:12

It was known that the Blondies of Tanagura were machines, the only concession to flesh being their enhanced brains. Jupiter created them to be the progenitors of a new humanity, the pinnacle of beauty, strength and intellect, ever immortal. It was unthinkable for elites—far more advanced than humans—to bed a lowborn pet and enjoy it. An elite with his artificial body had no lust. All of Midas knew that the only amusement they derived from sex was to watch the mating parties of their pets.
So Guy thought Iason kept Riki for the novelty of having a slum mongrel as a new plaything. A living toy arousing his cruelty as a tyrant. Guy just assumed that this custom-made ring, which was used to break him in, was nothing more than the warped manifestation of that.
But the relationship between the two of them... Guy never thought there was actual sex involved.
"This is the truth you wanted to know. Then take a good fucking look." Riki’s tone was subdued, a hint of self-deprecation in his voice. Still, his eyes were fixed firmly on Guy. "Here. Just rubbing it lightly makes my whole body tremble." Riki pinched a nipple. It was the truth. Riki enjoyed having his nipples sucked and turned hard by sensual bites. He just never wanted to admit it. Until Iason pulled it out of him, Riki never thought there was any pleasure there.
Sex with Guy was all about making each other feel good. Oral sex was nice too. There was never any force or violence involved. If Guy expressed his desire to penetrate him, they would just go for it. Foreplay just felt off-putting and couldn't compare to the pleasure he derived from direct genital stimulation. Riki had thought that was all there was to sex.
But in Eos, in the name of ‘training’ Riki discovered depths and dimensions of pleasure unimaginable. Being teased until his hips trembled and his sides spasmed. Until his throat became hoarse and his mind went blank from overstimulation. Thighs shivering, the hint of nectar on the tip of his shaft—but never allowed to orgasm. The humiliation of being violated by Iason's eyes over and over again.
But since moving to Apatia, things had changed. Making love with Iason in the truest sense of the word transformed everything that felt like shame into pleasure.
"Here. And here. This is where it feels really good." He traced the kiss marks as he spoke. "Tanagura elites never bed their pets themselves. All they enjoy is watching. But not him. He is the only owner perverted enough to keep his slum mongrel pet all to himself. And for that they call him a deviant."



"AnK."